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- Aerosmith, Get a Grip, 1993 From: Garmt@Accenture Sent: October, 2017 3:46 AM To: EveryoneIknow@Accenture Subject: I’m finally leaving Accenture Hello, Like so many others, it’s time for me to send you a note that I’m off to a different place. Like some leavers, I have no idea where I’ll go next. We simply don’t know... Read More
- Zoe blessed this day by climbing on my bed with me in it (uttering “Daddy is a climbing frame!”), transforming it into a train, tjoeke-tjoeke-tjoeke’ing first to Mama station and then to Portugal. She looked long and deep into my eyes, a rare treat, before descending and running off at... Read More
- From: Garmt@Accenture Sent: Friday, October 28, 2016 3:46 PM To: EveryoneIknow@Accenture Subject: ALS kicking: an update! Hi! Remember me? No? Well, that’s a shame, but understandable. Percenture, our internal personnel statistics tool, tells me I have been here longer than 77.28% of you. I suppose not every single one of you 289.535 new... Read More
- True story: I was at this rooftop wedding in New York. Impressive views of the nighttime city, all of the lights. We were nearing the end of the serious part, the “Yes, I do”’s already exchanged. The very official looking judge said to the couple: “Now, repeat after me. We’ve come... Read More
- Once again, Nick Cave saved me. A few weeks ago, I had a horrible weekend, a mini depression concentrated into two days. Feeling lonely and full of self-pity, I cried all Sunday, unable to stop even when Paul arrived to break my loneliness. Holy crap, did I feel miserable. Why?... Read More
- Good news, everyone! Icebucketing worked! Good thing, then, that Iris and me didn’t get iced for nothing. Pieces of the puzzle have been found because of it. Now, the actual puzzling can begin. Watch this movie. Then, visit this: https://www.als.nl/help/ Then, share like crazy. Thanks!
- Hi! I’m here to whack some truth upside your head. My truth, that is, and to be perfectly clear I’ll quote you some obscure zen saying: something true isn’t unless its opposite is also true. Chew that. Ah, you are looking confused, you must be a fast learner. Me, I... Read More
- “Do you want the truth or something beautiful?”, I ask my class of music ‘students’ one Friday evening. They do not know that this is a reference to Paloma Faith, so they opt for beautiful. Ok. Had they opted for truth, they would have watched a grainy, 24-year old clip... Read More
- Only a person as conflicted as me would choose a French quote to title a post intended for the most uni-linguistic audience of the world: Americans. My US friends keep asking for an update, so here I am. Hell is everyone else, thought Sartre after watching CNN, then wrote a... Read More
- UPDATE FOR DUTCH READERS (July 2016) Zeker 50% van de ALS patienten heeft last van dwanglachen en/of -huilen. Hier is een geneesmiddel voor verkrijgbaar, dat mogelijk ook helpt bij praten en slikken. Ook is een Nederlandse versie van deze blog beschikbaar. If you are experiencing ALS too, this page... Read More
- Some misguided fool said just the other day that I know a lot about music. To prove how immensely mistaken she was, I went to the “Le Guess Who?” festival. More than a hundred bands playing, and I didn’t know a single one. Not one band. Zero. I kind of... Read More
- We must have been the only tourists ever to go to Japan to stay in the hotel that Bill and Scarlett stayed in in that one movie. You see the weirdest things on TV. The hilarious part is that not one single non-Dutch person (them being the socalled target audience... Read More
- My next blog is for Accenture, specifically the Country Managing Director, Manon. It can be found here: http://www.accenture-blogpodium.nl/column/essential-communication/.
- This one is a bit of a lecture, folks. I guess it is my way of dealing with disappointment. ALS medicine is a tricky business. The best way to introduce this is with an old joke: So I took a train the other day. No, that is not the joke.... Read More
- So, today, Juel walks in, sees the object in the picture below: and asks “What the crap is THAT?? And what does it do??”. Without missing a beat, I put on this song, and this one at the same time, and type the following, 100% true conversation: that is mad max,.... Read More
- On this wicked journey, there are some pretty neat surprises and gifts along the way. One that really touched me was a message from an Imam, who had come across my story and adressed me in such a heartwarming and respectful way… it was impressive, all the more so because... Read More
- It is 1 AM when I finally close my weary eyes. I am utterly, completely exhausted. In the past few days I burned up the little reserves I had, working too hard, recognising the signs but pushing myself because I don’t ever learn. My eyes, interface to the world and... Read More
- Every now and then, I wonder, I wa-wa-wa-wa-wonder, have I still got it? Do I still have it? Have what, you’ll wonder. And I’ll say, “ I was lying in bed last night, thinking back to that concert we went to. Janine Jansen was playing the crap out of... Read More
- This post is not beautiful or nice. I started it to complain, and that is ugly. I just got back from eight days in the hospital, to get nighttime breathing measured and assistive breathing configured. Let me start with miniblogs about why hospitals suck. It feels like something is pulling... Read More
- From: van Soest, Garmt Sent: Wednesday, April 29, 2015 23:13 To: Everyone@AccentureSubject: ALS update: Everything ready from the dark side of the moon… A nice bit of trivia to start your day: Which movie from my birth year does the line in the subject come from? Don’t get confused with the... Read More
- My first one was just the desire for a reminder that I was once the type of person that would get one.I was the first of all my friends to get one, my sister was the only other person I knew who had one. Nowadays, one in four people gets... Read More
- With all my complaining lately, I thought it would be nice for a change to tell you about these wonderful presents I received lately. First, there are the keys. When the father of my father passed away at the tragically young age of 96, my dad found three shoeboxes of... Read More
- why why what is god damn why does aaack. awful drooling from torture smells. every sound is like a dagger into my skull and there is so much noise i cant take it i gotta get away before fuck now i am angry and the only thing more frustrating than... Read More
- Hello, everyone, I once learned an expression tres chique. It’s “and all that jazz”, and basically means, you know the rest, it is not that the rest is no good, au contraire, but let’s not bother each other by spelling it out, shall we? So, merry christmas, and all... Read More
- From: van Soest, Garmt Sent: Sunday, November 23, 2014 21:20 To: Everyone@Accenture Subject: ALS is still here, but so am I Hello everyone, If you don’t know who I am or why I am emailing you, let me tell you an anecdote. The other week, someone asked me for my... Read More
- Dear Zoe, Let’s get one thing straight: Your name is not Zoe, it’s Zoe-with-two-dots-on-the-e. Only people like myself or cousin Hannes are allowed to skip the dots. Girl, there is something that I am about to say that counts as an insult unless you are eight months pregnant or a... Read More
- So John Frusciante used to play and sing that song as part of a Peppers show. Which goes to shw that even guitar geniuses can surffer from poor judgment. This is the first entry fully written and posted using eyes only. Each time you go to Lowlands Festival you... Read More
- So I almost got divorced the other day. Let me explain. Me and my best buddy Paul were in this tattoo shop in Brussels (because that's how we roll/get down/boogie/out our secret gay love triangle/start our career as Dutch national soccer players/ah hell, I guess you know what I'm going... Read More
- Filled with little wonders, this first week. Her age is measured in seconds and I manage to keep myself from fainting – just barely. Her age is measured in minutes and she is lying on Iris' breast. I want to touch her white little arm but am afraid... Read More
- Hello all, A series of moments from the past weeks, a collage, if you will. The moment that keeps sticking to my attention, that I'm trying so hard to relive, is that moment in the ambulance, where I didn't have ALS for the first time in a year. So... Read More
- From: Garmt@Accenture Sent: Wednesday, July 09, 2014 1:04 AM To: People@Accenture Subject: Summertime ALS Update Good news everyone, I’m still alive! If you don’t know me, in my case, that’s actually an achievement. I had wanted to subject-line this email “Partir, c’est mourir un peu”, but then you... Read More
- In the words of Shawn Carter, lyrical poet and creator of statements so true that they border on the mathematical, to mention just one: "I've got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" (because I don't have a dog), anyway, in his words: thank you, thank you, thank you, you're... Read More
- We are driving home and it has been a fine day. A beautiful day, Lou Reed would say. A Bittersweet Symphony, the Verve would say. Kiss me, Tom Waits would say. We are debating Tesla vs. BMW. Iris makes a lot of good points about its impracticality and I... Read More
- See it if you can. Conversation at the pool, enjoying the sun, earlier this week: "Iris?" "Yes?" "Upon which set of values and principles should we build the rules and directives for the Raising of our Daughter?" "That's simple. On mine. Saves us a lot of arguments too." ... Read More
- ——– Original message ——– From: Garmt@Accenture Sent: Saturday, May 3, 2013 2:21 PM To: People@Accenture Subject: Update from a malfunctioning consultant Hello all, If you don’t know who I am, you are in the same entity (and therefore mailinglist) as I am, or was. If you do know who I am:... Read More
- Take note – it’s a SONG, not a promise. And it’s such a good and subtle song. Listen it. It’s got nothing to do with today’s post though. A selection of moments from the previous weeks We appeared on Pauw & Witteman (big late night show in NL). The table... Read More
- The BMW 3-series. I do not use the words "masterpiece of engineering" lightly, but I am convinced that any German engineer with skill and ambition desires no greater legacy than to have contributed to the magnificence of this car. Fuck Ferrari's that break down and need a 10-thousand euro service... Read More
- Thrown to the ground, a piece of flying fur from her skin marks where stood alive and well a micro-instant earlier. The sound of the gun is so loud and at the same time inappropriately muffled for a life-taking event as this. Vegetarians and readers with a weak stomach may... Read More
- and that's the way it is. The '97 remix, of course, with those cool dancers in the clip, the first time I saw a remix announced as "original artist vs remix guy", Run DMC vs Jason Nevins. That's the reason for picking this song, "versus". Today's match: Amsterdam vs Utrecht.... Read More
- She's taking "you gotta fight for your right to party" pretty seriously. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a working name, and it's Zomer, Dutch for Summer, as that is when she'll be born. And this mail is just to be a gleeful dad who just felt her kick... Read More
- Time for another guest blogger. This time it's James Masters, who wrote an excellent article for Accenture's internal communications group. The article below was on the front page of our internal Accenture portal!! That means it's got more readers than the NRC Handelsblad!! Garmt and his wife Iris are... Read More
- So this one guy, it was at the crew camping of Lowlands in, what, '10? '11?, I think my BMW was the only car there less than 10 years old. This guy, dishwasher extraordinaire, he knew so much about music, blogs of one particular kind of soul music that I... Read More
- From: Garmt@Accenture Sent: Friday, February 07, 2014 2:58 PM To: People@Accenture Subject: So how are you all doing? ‘coz me, I’m doing just fine. Mostly. I’m feeling a little sick these days (ha! – just a small flu). If you joined recently, I’m a guy with a funny disease... Read More
- People ask me how come I don't write about Iris so much anymore? Well, that's simple. Like the christian god, I'm jealous, so I want to keep her all to myself. ALL FOR ME MUHAHAHA! Well, that, and that I have two diseases (note – not the flu). But... Read More
- It feels like I met my killer this week. Not ALS – we have been introduced earlier. But we both know that he's not a killer – he doesn't have the heart for it. That guy just weakens. And then he invites buddies like lung infection or something. And... Read More
- Hey, you know what? That tower of Pisa is really almost tipping over. Almost. Like it's beckoning you. Asking you. Pleading you to get closer. Seducing you to lean against it. To give it a push. To topple it over. To give it the rest it so desparately craves. It... Read More
- … a little more action, please. Mijn oom merkte op: joh, je schrijft steeds minder. Het dringt nu later op de avond pas tot me door dat dat is omdat tikken ongemakkelijk is. De bewegingen zitten niet meer in mijn ringvinger dus moet ik tikken met bewegingen van mijn arm.... Read More
- To be precise, approximately somewhere around July 22, 2014: Everything is details compared to this. We are so, so lucky. And – yes, what you're thinking is correct. We had sex. But just once, honestly.
- Take note – this post was in the editing room for a few days. I don't feel like the story below anymore but it was reality when I wrote it. So a few weeks ago I was writing a post in my head, a nice way of wording that... Read More
- Albert Hammond. The guy I’m eavesdropping in stems from the era of that song, which is a polite way to say that he’s old. White hair. Travelling with a woman who’s chatting about her kids. They’re talking about flu medicine and foreigners and ditjes and datjes. He looks like a... Read More
- ——– Original message ——– From: Garmt@Accenture Sent: Wednesday, November 27, 2013 11:20 AM To: People@Accenture Subject: Update from a malfunctioning consultant Well, strictly speaking, it’s just my DNA that’s malfunctioning, not me, but hey. Warning: E-mail-etiquette breach ahead – long mail, personal content, difficult sentences, sent to a lot of people. I don’t... Read More
- Gaion is my 5-year old nephew from New Zealand. I'm sorry folks, it's not like I'm making these names up. "Gaion and Metis and Garmt go on a great wild adventure" sounds like "can I buy a vowel please". And as REM is as appropriate for the lad in the... Read More
- Metis is my 7-year old nephew from New Zealand. His voice is calling out the numbers as the steadily ascending needle of my speedometer passes them – 100, 110, 120, …, it moves from “fast” to “ludicrous” into “unspeakable”. Metis, the first sensible male younger than 18 to share my... Read More
- Bobby McFerrin is a genius, ladies and gentlemen. Go on, watch that, it's only three minutes long and you're guaranteed to get a smile. For those of you who didn't study an exact science: the blue underlined text is a link, if you click on it, with your mouse, or... Read More
- I called up someone important in the field of ALS research. I wanted to understand what he was doing and to see how I could offer him help. Zeef, from Israel, who works for IBM, approached me; he had heard about my story and is active in the same field... Read More
- A George Michael lyric, of all the things to start with, but I couldn’t get it out of my head as I was walking across the square just outside our office today. Later that afternoon I came up with “I’m free…. to do whatever” but it’s not like the guys... Read More
- the distance. The morning after the brief but intense kitesurf, I wake up with my left fist balled, clenched between my knees. Like I subconsciously want to keep hold of it? My hand and arm are tingling… They call it "pins and needles" but it always feels more like... Read More
- Eat and be merry for tomorrow you may die-t. Dietitians. Do we ever go to see them because we LIKE to? You get where this is going: I had to go and see one, last week. It's a bit like visiting a priest, in one of those old movies,... Read More
- Up, Down. Up: Dinner with a special group of colleagues, maintaining a tradition, feeling full part of the family again. Down: The worst, worst page in my personal history book coming back to haunt me. If I ever had a memory I don't need confrontation with it's this... Read More
- … don't mean they're not after you. So we gotta keep running. Earlier today. Sitting. Quietly. Outwardly, at least. Breathing. Hands in the mudra, my head racing, stopping every now and then in my belly, until I feel a hand on my shoulder. Bony but warm. I don't move... Read More
- I'm starting to type this as I'm sitting at the beach. Lovely weather. Overlooking the see. Wedding. They are hard to enjoy these days, unfortunately. We're summoned for the pictures – E. in his suit which makes him look better than I'd like to admit, the rest of us, all... Read More
- Which, referring to the subject line here, incidentally, is the name of the Led Zeppelin song that I played about a year after I started on electric guitar, well, "played", I managed to squeeze out most of the notes, even the solo, although Iris would never actually call it "playing",... Read More
- (or, let it E, let it E. Saw Eels tonight, ladies and gentlemen, and if you do not go out RIGHT NOW and buy an LP of Souljacker you don't deserve to have ears. God damn right it's a beautiful day. I'm not swearing, I'm just quoting lyrics here.) ... Read More
- (email to colleagues at work) This is a long, serious and slightly personal email. If you know me, have worked with me or expect to work with me in the future (so essentially, if you receive this e-mail), please take careful time to read it properly. A few... Read More
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